HOMESICKNESS

I have a mild case ok maybe a little more severe. I so wish I was going home for thanksgiving, but my folks cant afford it so I'll just have to wait it out till christmas. So if you see me give me a hug and tell me its going to be alright because I'm going to need it to make it throught the rest of this semester. I'm also amidst a flurry of confusion about whether I should or shouldn't do fashion as my career. Sometimes I wish my life was a much simpler one

EPIC PROPORTIONS

So this weekend has definitely been an epic one. Two parties back to back. Friday, the amazing Houman Farahmand and his roomate Alyssa decided to host a lavish party at their Village loft. Not only did the place have amazing views and giant open spaces, but the music was great and the people attending were even better. I met so many interesting people and was apparently a little out of control, but who cares it was a blast. Well done mr. Farahmand and ms. Davis, its definitely what a manhattan party should look like! Saturday good friend Sonia or the Sonz as I call her had her joint birthday party just down our street on maiden lane. I'll be honest the party looked a bit bleak in the beginning, but towards the end it was so much fun. Mind you I was liquored up and ready to go. I wish the music had been a bit louder but we had fun and of course today (sunday) I'm rushing yet again to finish all work for tomorrow's class which is draping. I really want to get it together academically, I haven't been pushing myself as much as I should be which could be due to weekends like these or ridiculousness and sleeping in. But hey, its New York City it'd be a crime not to have fun right?

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT ROSS

So Ross Vigeant is a dear friend of mine and apparently an avid reader of mine so I'm going to dedicate this post to him. Ten things I hate about him.

1. His assloads of money
2. His cozy apartment with some random Indian man named Hashish
3. The fact that although he owns closets full of Dior and Burberry he likes to dress in AE
4. His critical scrutinizing of fellow friends such as the Jman
5. His gamer ex-roomate
6. His need to take out the camera at our worst drunken moments
7. How he wears flip-flops in 20 degree weather
8. How he always has some beautiful lady at his side
9. How apparently he's a genius and is graduating early
10. How he's a giant teddy bear and a brat

ENCOURAGING WORDS

So its midterm time. Thats right, the year is a quarter over. Its amazing how time has flown by. I've been really overwhelmed lately dealing with who I am as a designer and how I can stand out among the 2459938890000 million kids ALSO doing fashion. I realized that my problem is with workmanship and execution. I have the ideas and innovation and the drive but as my teacher says instead of working harder I should just work smarter. My methods (sewing/draping) class midterm was very depressing, hell I wanted to start crying right there and then. I've never had such a low grade since Chemistry back in ghetto ass high school. It hurt so bad, but I'm going to take it as a wake-up call. My teacher was very encouraging and let me know that he's seen much worse in students and they've gone on to be great. So I'm hoping that if I really push myself and think smarter about how I approach things, slowly but surely I'll progress and at least catch up with the rest of my class. My drawing teacher was really motivating and kept stressing that my personal vision and style are the things that really need to shine through my work, which was really comforting seeing as how these generic projects really piss me off and I get so watered down that all my figures either look like generic mannequins or crap. Either way I'm going to improve. I MUST, there's no way I'm giving up now. I've come too far, risked too much and worked too hard. Next year starts now, hell next year is now..S.H.

I LOVE YOU BUT YOU'RE BRINGING ME DOWN

New York, I love you but you're bringing me down. This lyric summed up my day. You know those days when everything seems to irritate you. Things that have always been around you and you see each and every day but out of nowhere just make you go crazy. The city is full of strang and obnoxious things that, today really pushed my buttons. First of all, today was hustle day which meant loads of hw needed to get done in these vital 24hrs. And I just got really sick of the randomest things. For instance, not only do I hate riding the subway, but I somehow always end up in the car with the crazy homeless woman who's dancing for Jesus and asks you for money. Every single day, I swear some homeless wants my money and they come up with the weirdest shit to get it. I was not having it today. I get to school and as much as I love diversity, its obvious that the Koreans have taken over Parsons. They're nice people, usually shy and quiet, but today I was really trying to finish my draping hw and these girls were just talking non-stop, layed their shit on MY table and I just felt like saying "Stop speaking Korean, get your shit off my table and go away!!!" It's random, I know, but today was one of those days. I also distinctly remember purposely running into some tourist girl as I was walking who just decided to stop walking and stand in the middle of Times Square. I'm sorry, but if you're not from New York the easiest way someone notices is the way you walk. IF YOU WALK. Most tourists decide to calmly loiter the streets at 2mph which I HATE! Get a move on or get out of my way. Once again New York I love you, but sometimes I'm fed up.

SHITSHOW

So today was a terrible day. I presented my concepts project and was viciously critiqued. My project was called amateur, vague, distracting, and wild. I dont mind, I mean we all have those projects. I take all criticism very seriously. Thats the reason I critique other people's work so harshly. I always come off as the asshole who disagrees with the layout or proportions or to simplify, but I'm not attacking people, I truly want them to better themselves artistically and I really dont feel complementing everyone's work to death helps them be better designers. Its a shame that everyone at this school is so nice, I actually think its refreshing to have people who think sarcastically and honestly. None of this sugarcoated bullshit, because lets face it, in the real world your boss is going to tell it to you like it is and they're not going to give a damn about how long you spent or how you put your heart and soul into your work. I think people are lying to themselves by thinking the world is this happy go lucky place where everyone's just happy with everything and nothing needs improvement. Please. It could just be the pessimistic nature, I've been raised with, but I just hate stuff like this. Anyways, every class I'm slowly getting better, learning from my mistakes, taking in everything and using it as a stepping stone. I can understand why a lot of designers just dropped out of school. ALL THE RULES! There's so little room for self-expression and it can become very redundant and frustrating. I mean how are you supposed to do well and work on something that you have no attachment to or connection? I think we work best when we're doing whatever we want, with the goal of executing and presenting our ideas to the best of our ability. But this comes from within us not a stupid set of guidelines, and I know that we're barely learning the fundamentals, but its time people realized that curriculum cant be solely based on regiment and uniformity. We're designers for a reason. Our dynamic visions set us apart from the world and other designers because of their originality and organic nature. Just ramblings, I guess.

GAYBISEXUALTRANSGENDERED

So me and my friend keep getting in these ridiculous discussions about my sexuality and I'm so tired of them. She claims that I hate all gay men and that I don't realize I am indeed a gayman. First of all, I do not hate ALL gay men. In fact I have a few gay friends who I love, but the reality is that a lot of the gay boys at this school are either really pretentious, disgustingly slutty and flaming or utterly ridiculous. I cant help, but not wanting to be around them and in no way do I think myself superior it's just a matter of comfort. Secondly, I have struggled with my own sexuality for a very long time and find it very insulting for someone to judge me for the way I dress, behave or talk. Yes, I am aware that I dress up all the time and I can be feminine at times, but believe me, I have met some really feminine men who are straight as can be. I consider myself bisexual, but people dont understand it so I just say I'm gay. It's easier, which is really sad. Although I PREFER men, I have had feelings for women. In fact one of my longest and most meaningful relationships has been with a girl. Even now, when we're together theres this amazing chemistry that I cant explain. Yes they're rare occurences, but they happened. I chose not to act on those situations, but that was my choice. I'm the kind of person who likes "people". Yes, I know at this point a many number of you are shaking your heads at my cliche, but in reality I think the world would be such a great place if there were no such things as orientation. If people could fall in love with men or women regardless of gender. To some extent I feel that the world is maturing in that sense, but the ignorance of the common man still prevails and anything that is foreign is of course quickly attacked and discarded. Another thing that really sets me off is people trying to hook me up with their gay friends. First of all just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I'll instantly fall for the next gay guy I see (in fact in my case its the opposite. I usually fall for the straight ones). I mean what if we replaced the word gay with a race, or a situation. "Hey I really want you to meet my other black friend, I think you guys would really hit it off". How insulting. "Well I dont know maybe you guys could race each other in your wheelchairs or something" C'mon people, are we really so ignorant as to think homosexuals don't have preferences when it comes to who they find attractive. What really scares me is that this is still happening to me, even at a collegic level. So to my dear friend, kiss my ass because I bet if you lived a day in my shoes you'd see its not as easy as it looks.

TOO YOUNG

So the other day I was listening to one of my favorite songs "Too Young" by Phoenix and it pretty much summed up my life. I'm too young for everything. Seeing as how I'll be 21 when I graduate college, I think I really need to invest in a fake because this shit is ridiculous. That birthday party in brooklyn went very wrong. First of all I got carded trying to buy some colts. Then we get to the place where this really cute boy seemed very bewildered, but turns out we were the first ones to arrive. Mind you this thing was scheduled at 9 and it was almost 10 by the time we arrived. I would've hung out a bit longer, but my friends weren't feeling it so we left. The rest of the night was pretty much a shitshow. When we got back my friend called me and we found her drunk out of her mind crawling on the floor, which was pretty entertaining for about 5 minutes and then we just left. Apparently a bunch of kids decided to do shrooms which make you go crazy and start hallucinating and stuff. It's ridiculous what some people will do to get high. And for what really? A couple minutes on cloud nine and then puking and getting fucked up for the rest of the day. No thanks. I'm not straight edge or anything, but drugs have never appealed to me. Not even weed. I've just been around too many junkies I guess to know that I don't want anything to do with that shit. I'll have a beer or two, but I'm not about to eat fungi haha. Seeing as how friday's party was a disaster my other friend threw a little get together at his place in bushwick on saturday which was an adventure on its own. It turned out to be pretty fun. We played uno and wii bowling while shotguning beers. Then we left and joined this rooftop party somewhere else in brooklyn. The view was amazing. I still cant get over all the freedom we have here. I still feel like I need to ask my parents for permission but then I remember that I'm an adult and I do what I want, when I want to and best of all I'm in New York City. Being around so many young people you forget that there is a real world out there and in our world anything pretty much goes. Its strange and maybe even ridiculous but I wouldn't have it any other way.

PICTURES AND PERFUME

So the other day, my friend Sanyu (ridiculously dramatic, center of attention-at-all times, Sanyu) decided to take some pictures. Little did I know that one, my shirt would be off, and two, I'd be posing with my other friend (a girl) completely topless. Awkward yes, but so much fun. The shoot turned out to be a success and of course Sanyu, the exhibitionist she is, decided to join in on the fun and before you knew it it was a topless party. Okay maybe I'm embelishing a bit, but it happened. This week went by pretty fast, thank god for Jewish holidays thats all I have to say. This weekend should prove to be exciting. Friday, a friend of mine is hosting a fabulous birthday party in brooklyn, where else, and saturday I'm having dinner with my good friend Jorden with a stop at the Chanel store. If you dont know me I'm a sucker for fragrance. I know how gay can you get right? It could be due to the fact that that was my first job. But seriously, I love to smell good and Chanel is always at the top of my list. The other day I stopped at Bloomies and picked up a bottle of the Chanel edition Blanche which I've been wanting for a really long time. I really want to get a bottle of Cuir de Russie which is a boutique exclusive. It smells soooo good. If anyone wants to buy me a belated birthday present fragrance would definitely be greatly appreciated. Among my favorites are: Chanel Allure Sport, Versace Eau Fraiche, Marc Jacobs Cucumber (friend for life if you find me this one since its discontinued) and anything Tom Ford thats not black orchid (the private blends are amazing!) On women I LOVE Stella by Stella McArtney, YSL Paris (which is what darling Sanyu wears) Gucci Envy Me, Michael Kors, Coco Madamoiselle and Dior Cherie. Chanel's La Pausa and Gardenia are also to die for. Anyways enough vanity for a while lets talk about everyone starting to get sick around here. Its disgusting. It doesn't help that the school doesn't give a damn if you're on your deathbed, if you miss three classes you get kicked out. I know right, WTF?!