NIGHTDRIVE

So I got back on tuesday and its been nothing, but running up and down the city. Going home this time REALLY made me realize that it's not my home anymore and that slowly I've begun to hate where I'm from. Everything remains the same or some version of the way it was once. In some ways this is beautiful, in others its depressing. My parent's God bless them have not changed at all and my friends seem to be frozen in their tracks. I feel for them, but in a way know that they'll never understand who I am anymore. The city casts a spell on people. Soon enough you cant bare to be away from it too long. The daily grind, the parties, the people, the feeling of everything in the world coming together in one place is mystifying. My friend Savannah was staying with me for a bit sorting out her apartment drama. It really scares me to think of the arduous task of finding a place once I leave my RA service. The paperwork, the roomates, the crazy formalities, but I still cant wait. Cant wait to truly have a place of my own. Somewhere I can paint, fill with furniture and keep a dog. I don't care what anyone says, I still want a dog. Huge responsibility no doubt, but its something I've never been able to have in my life. It's funny but true what they say that when you stop looking for that special someone, all these people pop out of the blue. I've met a really nice person, but once again distance is the obstacle and in fear of growing too attached I've distanced myself. I've taken the liberty of sharing some of my home with y'all.

HOMEWARD BOUND

So sunday I'm off to the golden state and to the county of oranges. Its funny that I really haven't been thinking about going home.
I'm scared to think that I'm sort of excited. I feel like it will be better since I'm only going for about a week so I'll get to see everyone and eat some good food and get the hell out of there. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends back home, but its become so depressing. I feel like everyone stays frozen in their dead end jobs and lame careers. Even my friends who went to good schools like USC or UCLA are studying nursing or pharmaceuticals. No one seems any bit ambitious and they just give me stares and disdain for leaving. That's another thing that I hate. SMALL TALK. Get the fuck out of here. How many times do I need to tell you about what I'm studying and where I go to school. Its sad really. On the positive side I get to get away from the city a bit. Lately I've been feeling so flustered by all the people (tourists) and just really want to be alone in a park somewhere or just away from all the crowds which is so hard here. PS: Have you guys ever heard of the most hated family in America? They are fucking crazy. Every other word out of their mouth is Hell or Fags. That pretty much sums up their faith. A bunch of ignorant hick sign holders. They preach the word of God through hate. I don't remember Jesus ever damning people to hell or calling people faggots. LOL. People like them are the reason why everyone hates America. They're so lucky they live in a world and a country where people can say whatever they want. Regardless, they truly are testing the borders of free speech by protesting at dead soldiers' funerals. Its so sad that they bring their children up in hatred. There's a scene in this BBC documentary where a car drove past and threw something at one of the children wounding him. Those kids are innocent and have no clue what they're doing, yet they pay the price for being raised by ignorance and blasfemy. I guess it really hit home because I myself was raised a Jehova's Witness. In no way am I saying that they are similar, but there was a sense of responsibility attached to knowing the approaching final days. In contrast tho, we were taught to educate people with respect, love and compassion for our fellow man not damn them or hate man for his beliefs. There was also similarities in feeling of being part of a cult. If you're in you're in, if you're out you're out. There was never an in between, which I guess is true of almost any religion but this family was just amazing in the fact that they were completely guided by an obvious bigot and a legion of one minded crones. Below is the link to this touching documentary that shows how far people are willing to go to prove they are Gods chosen people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT_WHiHaXdw

COMING TOGETHER

I took him home last night. Its really strange the way he is with me. He's genuinely interested which I know sounds ridiculous but I've been so used to chasing after people who could care less or being attacked by younger overzealous cling-ons. Its strange to meet at the middle when both people are equally interested. Enough about my lurrve life. On the career side of things I had an interview today at Oak for a buying internship. Headquarters are in Greenpoint, Brooklyn which is pretty out of the way but oh well. They pretty much hired me on the spot which is great. They seemed really laid back and Oak is my favorite store in NYC by far and a giant discount with lunch is incentive for me as it is. I love Oak because its not just any other store its really building a lifestyle. I wouldn't be starting until next fall. The Duckies love me and continue to shower me with gifts, clothing and connections. Its so funny that we get along so well. We pretty much finish each others sentences its getting ridiculous. They even offered me a possible sales position at Odin which would be amazing. Gabrielle has her internship at Barneys. Did I mention its paid? She hates it. I don't blame her either after all marketing isn't the most exciting dept. Gilfriend aka Miss Hayley is in Paris as we speak being a responsibe RA to pretween Parsons summer students. Ross is back from his semester in Paris and his lazy ass has been hitting the spots with us. I'm going home to the golden shower state soon. In a week to be exact. I'm getting excited to tell you the truth. I'm looking forward to only being around for a week. It always feels like a giant press conference going home. And everyone asks the same questions. I'm just happy life seems to be finally coming together. PS: Been listening to a lot of Boards of Canada. They are pretty much amazing and are the perfect soundtrack to these black summer days.